WDS.....

So gonna get screwed for WDS later...
Havent got my 4 pages due to restarting the darn project.
Stupid laptop...
Stupid lousy backup system.
Gotta chiong. only 40 minutes to chiong 4 web pages...
I am so dead!!!

Ok, so went all the way from school to AMK hub today to catch this movie, the dark knight!
2hours and 30mins man, insanely long, but it was a real good movie.
The main reason why I went was because I needed to collect my testimonial from school, and to visit my hometown AMK. Lol

So yesterday was tuesday, a rather tiring day for me, cos of IISO assignment, and the CMSK 'test'.

And wore formal to school on monday, here's my class!
C197, the lovable, friendly class of mine.
I don't have the other pictures with me so can't upload.

Right now I'm still complaining of lack of sleep.
So sleepy due to those darn projects and school, I only have God to thank for keeping me alive this and last week.
And I only have God to thank that my first class starts at 12pm tomorrow. Hehe can finally get a full nights' rest.

Gloomy season

Ok, so once again the weekend comes to an end, with a project submission and presentation due tmr.
Gonna have to wear formal again.
sweat sweat sweat
B.O,B.O,B.O
Cologne Cologne Cologne
haiz...
anyway had a corporate net leaders' gathering yesterday afternoon at mind cafe.
must say it was much better than staying at home playing GTA like a lowlife.
although I must say that I'm becoming accustomed to my lowlife antics,
no motivation to go out, to exercise or even to study.
just wanna slack slack slack.
and slack.
I dunno, i think I'm becoming too much like my dad, cos now I just wanna be treated like a king, with people to serve me.
speaking of my dad, I sometimes just wish he would get out of my life, and stay out.
He doesn't know what I'm going through right now.
I don't want him to know, cos he'll probably make it worse by trying to help.
Had a chat with Esther on Friday, she told me she had been keeping track of my blog posts, and she's concerned about my relationship with my dad.
She asked me to fine a day to go out with my dad and talk things out with him.
But even if I do that, he wont change, instead he'll treat me worse, cos I know him, he's too proud to admit his mistakes.
Even when he's in the wrong, he can still bring himself to say that he forgives me. When I'm the innocent party.
Just really feel in a bad shape now, why couldn't I choose my parents?
If I had a choice I would find a family that builds each other up, not a family where the father is a perfectionist and can't stand failure.
thats what I am, a failure, in school, in relationship, in life.
I'm useless, I admit it.
all my dad wants me to do is study study study.
he even just said that he regretted that he allowed me to go for youth net rally cos now I have to stay up to read through my CARC once more for the presentation tmr.
I just don't understand, why my parents are so respected in the church.
My mum says my studies are the top priority, for now.
So it means that she's saying that God can only be a top priority when my exams are over.
Ridiculous bullshit.
I can go on ranting about my useless and pointless life, but I've got better things to do, so yeah.
Do hope my dad gets posted overseas to work.
And leaving the family back in Singapore.
That would be neat.

Tuesday blues?

Ok, so I havent updated in quite a while...
Been really busy with projects and stuff...
Also been really tired, due to lack of sleep, I know most of my classmates have less sleep than me, so I'll stop complaining...
Anyway can't wait for Friday, really.
Although I still have to go back to school, I think, to do IISO project.
Been really stressed out...
Pimples just popping out like popcorn, with at least a brand new fresh pimple a day.
Due to lack of sleep as well I guess...
I don't have the good look genes, means that I take after my dad.
And I just hope that I don't accidentally offend anyone anytime, don't wanna make enemies, only friends....
Ok, totally random, and school life is horrid, absolutely horrid.
Not saying the people, I love my classmates!
I only hate the subjects we have to take, and the projects, and assignments, blah blah blah, the everyday frustrations of a student in Singapore.
Anyway, so many of my classmates have a sudden interest in playing Pokemon again!
Even I'm affected.
We're all playing on a gameboy emulator on computer....
Hehe childish, I know, but hey, we're still young!

Arthur is deprived of sleep...

This might sound unlike me, but I'm actually doing assignments.... All for the damn 35% of the overall semester....
Back then in secondary school, homework didn't matter, only the O'levels did.
But now, I'm still finding it hard to adjust to poly life, as in we have to complete out work before the tutorial session itself, which I feel is a dumb system...
And dad just told me off for not prioritising my time well...
I just wanted to ask him to piss off... He doesn't know what I'm going through... He never has and he never will.
All he does is say, "If you continue to keep your attitude like that, you're not gonna make it"
Ya all he says to me are negative stuff...
Everything...
Hellooooo? What do you think I'm doing? Obviously I'm seeking help for my subjects right?
Why do you have to just kick me when I'm down?
Oh the times I've dreamt about how my life would be if I had better parents...
If you think my parents are good, as in the fact that they can stay home all day and not go to office to work, let me make it clear to everyone, too much of a good thing is a BAD thing.
I'm so deprived of sleep, fun, recreation and ya, sleep! And here he is, nagging about how I'm not gonna make it....
Anyway I hope to move out from this house the first chance I get when I grow older.
That way I will be forced to learn to be independent... Which is a good thing luh...

So thats the result of slacking too much!

IISO, WDS, PRSP.... All these projects are due this week but I'm only stuck halfway through it!!! Arh!!! So irritating! I'm not liking this one bit, and I can be sure that its only going to get worse!

I don't understand a heck lot about programming... Java is just too... Alien.
WDS is fine, but when it comes to drawing, I can make a 2 year old's artpiece look like it was drawn by Picasso or Da Vinci...
And here comes IISO, the business related module...
Swimlane diagrams are quite understandable...
But the assignment is quite dumb... honestly...

And I have found a new brother today, none other than Aaron Ang from C197...
Cos he is like me in some ways, in terms of studies...
We can say that we wanna chiong homework or projects, but we usually just end up accomplishing nothing...
Haha thats how I am, once a slacker, always a slacker I guess?

And ok, recap of the past week's events...

Friday 4th July 2008 : Regional barbeque / Pei Hwa outreach!
Can say that it was a success, more than 15 students from Pei Hwa came to join us.
And met up with Alan at 1.30pm to buy the supplies for the BBQ, you know, like charcoal, plates and stuff, and was supposed to rush down to Chris's house at Rio Vista to wait for the food to be delivered... the person initially said he would come between 2-4pm, so we rushed like crazy, only to find out that the person could only make it between 3.30pm-4pm... Irritating right... And while we were waiting for the food we went up to Chris's house, and had some trouble setting up the wii... So gave up in the end and we just slacked there.... But the barbeque was good, I managed to eat quite a bit, and enjoyed myself quite a lot...

Saturday 5th July 2008 : The Edge.
Enough said, the edge service was simply awesome.

Today : Its my brother's birthday, but he didn't come church...
Went to Singapore Expo early cos dad was singing in the choir, so went to help the Region 3/4 youth book seats... And went to help put with the CW welcoming team...
Missed almost the whole worship cos of that, but it was for a good cause I guess...
And today's service was slightly special, cos they prayed over some people before the sermon started, and they prayed for the new overseer for the young adults (singles) ministry, and they mentioned the age group of the young adults ministry, which was 22-35 years old.
Den someone had to mention the name Evie, and we just decided to spam her with the followong message : "Evie! Dun go to young adults so soon!"
And she still was like, "C first lor =P"

Anyway, ya thats just about it, and week of prayer and fasting is coming up this week, a good time to save money for my PSP... and guitar, seems impossible, if you know how much I eat in one day... So I just hope that I can stick to fasting without having my stomach make funny noises... Ok got lots of work to catch up on will blog some other time

More encouragement!

This is credited to Valerie, again...



One night I dreamed a dream.I was walking along the beach with my Lord. Across the dark sky flashed scenes from my life. For each scene, I noticed two sets of footprints in the sand, one belonging to me and one to my Lord.
When the last scene of my life shot before me I looked back at the footprints in the sand. There was only one set of footprints. I realized that this was at the lowest and saddest times of my life. This always bothered me and I questioned the Lord about my dilemma.
"Lord, You told me when I decided to follow You, You would walk and talk with me all the way. But I'm aware that during the most troublesome times of my life there is only one set of footprints. I just don't understand why, when I need You most, You leave me."
He whispered, "My precious child, I love you and will never leave you, never, ever, during your trials and testings. When you saw only one set of footprints, It was then that I carried you."

Don't tell God how big your storm is, tell the storm how big your God is!

Enough said, the title explains it all, thanks Val for this....

Midweek crisis....

Earlier this week, I asked myself , "Why am I living life? Wouldn't it be better if I just lie down and fall asleep forever?" I was also referring to the point that I'm so sleepy that I can sleep forever if I wanted to...
A better life in Heaven, thats what I'm looking forward to...
However, there are so many obstacles in the way, school, parents, grandparents, condemnation, rejection... I used to face a lot of the last 2 examples...
At home I'm the most vulnerable, I'm exposed to so much condemnation from my parents.... Even to the point where I feel like I'm not accepted at home.
For those who know me, I'm happy go lucky, I can't study for more than 10 minutes without having to take a break, and I'm not particularly the academically strong person.
Got back 2 term test papers today, and failed both, all because I couldn't understand what was going on in the lectures...
My brain does not register when it doesn't see a link in the subjects I take.
Thats super frustrating, and I'm going to feel like how I feel after O'levels, the feeling of FAILURE....
My friends always encourage me, they tell me never to give up....
My parents try to do the same, but they make it sound so condemning, what they say never encourages me, most of the time they just bring me lower and lower, thats why I keep holding on to school, to my friends, they are the ones who can make me smile, I never smile at home, cos all the time my dad's ordering me around to do something, or if not he's finding any reason to scold me even for the slightest things.
So I say thanks to ALL my friends!
Those in C197, those from church, and my ex classmates!
I would never have been able to come this far without you guys to cheer me up when I'm down...
So much for an emo post.... ah-ha I guess I had better start studying for the next test... I've gotta work doubly hard to get a good grade at the end of the semester!
Peace!