Oh dear,
Someone's tailing me.
Better keep a lower profile

Sundays

I didn't post yesterday because I fell asleep right after dinner.
Was feeling extremely tired and just collapsed on my bed.
Anyways, Saturday, had a good time at edge, message was about being a hostage to secrets.
Was a really good message. None should have missed it.
Sunday, had youth band practice.
After that service was really good, the speaker was really like a stand up comedian, so funny but his stories were really relevant to the message.
And he expressed it in such a hilarious way, plus his accent made it even harder for us not to laugh.
Had corporate class at 3pm at Tampines, had to rush down from hougang after lunch, we stepped in only 15 mins late, because we took some time using the toilet.
The lesson was good, on how to plan meetings and how to give a backbone to any meeting you organise.
I needed that.
Evening service was like 2x better than morning service, because he made even funnier jokes, plus his message was really good.
Its been a really long time since I laughed so hard.
Anyway, now back to reality.
Got to study for O's that are coming up, I heard that people retake one or two subjects for O's because their main objective is to change course after their results.
But I'm not changing course, although it would be pretty sweet to head down to Ngee Ann poly to take mech engineering.
I don't want Singapore poly because it's too competitive, and Temasek Polytechnic is too in the heartlands.
Nanyang poly would be nice, since its walking distance, Republic poly, not a chance.

She finally noticed me.
It was simply the best feeling a guy could ever get.
I never thought that someone like her would notice someone like me.
But I'm still afraid,
What if it's the look of rejection?
Is that why they call it a crush?
Because it really crushes someone in the the end?

Where's the black ball arh?

Today was probably the most eventful day this whole holiday.
Went for badminton with region 3/4 ppl.
Had lotsa fun, although I got owned, and the worse was when Esther owned me upside down.
I found out that I'm much better at playing singles rather than doubles, cos I like to have the whole court to myself, I'm a selfish bugger, I noe.
Jordan said that the way I swing resembles a tennis player's swing, so that gives me more reason to go learn tennis.
After that lunch at KFC, abit sinful, but who cares?
JJ ate all the cheese.
Jordan put cheese into his mashed potato.
They made fun of the Gnin brothers.
Had fun talking, after which went to play pool for awhile.
And....
Got owned again.
The joke of the day today, was during the pool match between me and Gab Gnin, we were so engrossed in the game that no one realised that I accidentally hit the black ball in already, which meant that I lost.
But... No one realised until someone shouted, "Where's the black ball arh?"
Then we all paused for a moment.
Then laughter.
My match against Evie was worse.
Got so many fouls.
So many choices to hit, but when I tried, the white ball just weaved its way through everything and either hot nothing, or went into a hole.
Felt so noobish.
At net, same same, I guess, had a rather short net meeting, den went down to SengKang sculpture park to meet the other half of SK net and Punggol net.
Played ice and water, 2 rounds.
Then hide 'n' seek.
Was quite fun overall.
Ice and water, only David could keep up with me and only I could keep up with David.
LOL.
Dashed so fast that after that I just had my vision blurred, due to lack of oxygen in brain.
I didn't noe that they would hang around until so late.
They got so much life.
Me? No life.
Once parents call means must go.
Rawr.
Lucky Sheryl was there, if not I would have had to put up with verbal assaults from dad, I expected him to like scold me like hell when we reached home but I just locked the door.
Haha so now I guess I'm just gonna watch bleach until morning, and try to get some sleep.

I want to spend at least one day alone with her.
But she just doesn't notice me at all.
All fear of rejection will overwhelm me when I think of intorducing myself.
I don't know unless I try.
But the humiliation of rejection is far worse than I can take.

So, about my day...

Ok, so today wasn't that bad of a day, considering I accidentally bit my ulcer, my mind couldn't focus during tuition, I got a mini heart attack and my knee felt like it loosened.
Ya, pretty uneventful, dontcha think?

Trying to find my mood back.

Found this lame picture the other day, just felt like putting it here.
Had no mood to do anything these past few days, other than to eat, sleep, and use the com.
Was really outraged yesterday when my internet was experiencing some difficulties.
I even wanted to use a hammer to smash the modem, but thanks to some help from Felix, the tech master, boss drummer and electric guitar solo expert (I hope you're reading this btw), I managed to fix up the connection.
So managed to keep up with my dose of animes.
But now, something happened with my graphic card, and I can't seem to get into my games.
So I've just been doing something extremely lame the past few hours, and thats doing the impossible quiz 2!!

http://www.notdoppler.com/theimpossiblequiz2.php

Its an amazing hair pulling, brain teasing game that made Alan and James go bonkers!
You should really try it out sometime, after exams of course, cos you'll get addicted.
And if any case you don't like the song that's playing on my blog, well, thats too bad.
I like it!
Haha

Hmm...

God's been speaking to me in many ways.
I only just realised.
It started since care group meeting on tuesday last week.
When J.S talked about how we shouldn't lose our vision and focus that God once gave.
On friday, he shared something similar.
Saturday at edge, he shared about being a hostage to lies, and the dangers of it, and how to overcome.
Sunday, the message was on drifting.
Tokyo drift! Was the first thing that came to my mind.
But it was a serious message that really made me ponder.
But it didn't hit me as hard as it did just now.
All because my mind was clouded up.
So I heard the song "Desert Song" by Brooke Fraser, and it hit me.
No matter what I'm struggling with now, God will make a way.
He will be my victory, and no weapon formed against me shall prosper.
Although CARC supp paper looks like a lost cause, I believe that God still has a plan whether I fail or not, and I'm ready to brace myself for what the world brings, because I know that my God will save the day.

Ok, so i deleted the post below....
Cos i felt that maybe the feelings expressed there were too strong and violent.
Might be making another blog in livejournal, so that locked posts are enabled.
But I do apologise, cos that post has come under much scrutiny by the people around me.
So it appears that I might have made many rash decisions.
So yeah.
Had more friendly advice from net leader again.
My net leader is so wise. (~I'm not worthy... I'm not worthy....~)
Always seems like she does the right thing.
Hmm.
How to make better decisions in life?
Teach me, and I will surely learn.

Moody....

Posted the last post at 3.10am.
Set my MSN status to (Sleeping).
But stayed up till 6am...
Just pondering about where I went wrong in life.
The constant screw ups, my friends, bad experiences.
And realised why my parents don't trust me.
It was a revelation that hit me right there.
The vicious cycle.
Due to my lack of performance, they limit my freedom, due to my lack of freedom, I do worse and worse in school.
Its the attitude, I guess.
Had only 3 hours of sleep last night.
Now having no mood to study what-so-ever.
+ parents want me to skip evening service to study.
When I have no mood at all to study.
I'm just blankly staring into the CARC notes.
Trying to absorb but nothing goes in.
At least I managed to have a chat with my net leader last night.
Finally somebody who bothers to hear me out in my time of need.
Thank you so much.
What I need now is lots of encouragement to even continue on with life.
Cos it seems so pointless.
We're all working our way towards a happy life before we meet death.
But I hope that my attitude can change, and hope that I'll start to see things with a new perspective.
I'm hoping for the best.
Sorry for all the wordy and EMO posts this past year.
My vision has just been really cloudy and I'm currently emotionally unstable.
Confusion just hitting me from everywhere.
Attacks from the enemy just keep coming and coming.
I need emotional healing.
Give me time, and I'll give back the Arthur everybody once knew.

Not so quick update...

Ok, so here's an update of what's been happening...

Friday 12th September 2008
Esther requested that I teach net lesson and play guitar for net worship.
Stress!
Hard to juggle between the 2.
But I guess it turned out quite fine.
Although she said that I'm expressionless when I teach.
Its true.
Emotions are quite hard for me to show sometimes.

Saturday 13th September 2008
Slacked in the morning.
Went to edge in the afternoon.
And had an awesome time at edge with Jon Pritikin.
He's a world record holder for being able to roll up a frying pan.
He has many more stunts too.
Incredible ones.
Take a look!








Yeah after that went for dinner with the youth.
Smuggled a BigMac into hougang mall's food court.
Had a discussion about music styles with the youth band.
Fruitful discussion.

Sunday 14th September 2008
Sunday morning service.
Went for youth band practice.
The night before, fruitful discussion.
Practice, not as good, the song did pretty well, second was just messy.
Guess its because I don't quite like the song.
Hmm.
And the whole song is just one chord just that we have to change key many times.
Practice strumming then.
Ushering duty,
Tiring.
Welcoming usher as well as offering usher.
So hard to keep that smile when greeting people.
Dunno why.
At least they appreciated the ushers at the end of the service.
And....
Learned a new song after service.
Nice song, and easy to play too!
Shall keep practicing that song.

Monday 15th September 2008
Went down to hougang sports hall to play badminton with Alan, Esther, Gabriel, JJ, Josephine, Joshua & Jordan.
Was quite fun, at least I managed to exercise a bit.
After that went to have lunch near Josh's house and went to his house to slack awhile.
At least now I know where Joshua lives so I hope I don't have trouble finding my way to his house for care group tomorrow.
Oh well, Its been a long day.
I guess.
Feeling sleepy now.
2:04AM
zzzzZZZZZZ.

After all's been said and done
She still doesn't acknowledge my existence
Why is that?
Ignorance is bliss, they say.
But what if this ignorance is the root
Of what's to come?
An accident, perhaps, or maybe not?
Life is precious,
So it is worth dying because of her?
When will this end?
Or when will it start, rather.

Been just having tuition all the way...
Except today.
Met up with Aiman, Ain and Haziqah.
Didn't have any solid plans so we just hung around causeway point before and after dinner.
Dunno why I'm feeling so hungry today.
Ate a plate of chicken rice and had another meal at Macdonald's only like 20mins later...
zzzZZZZ.
Metabolism rate is a bit weird for me i guess.
Even right now I'm feelingg rather hungry.
But its unhealthy to eat at such a late hour.
Joshua invited me to play badminton with Gab tmr, called JJ along but cancelled last minute cos Joshua had another appointment.
Had been a super lowlife these past few days.
Tuition and gaming.
Thats all I do.
And....
I only failed one module!
So happy.
Only have to take 1 supp paper.
Although I got D for everything, its really by God's grace that I passed everything, cos my first term test results were pure ultimate crap.
And the module that I failed was because it was at an inappropriate timing, as well as me, being as forgetful as ever, I forgot to bring my pencil box that day which resulted in poor me calculating everything with my super rusty brain.
Its like 6000 divide by 1024 that sort of equation??!!
So ya, I got an F, a big fat F for CARC.
And its also due to that darn lab test, which I must've sucked at...
I'll stop making excuses, cos I know its also due to lack of preparation.
Maybe I should post some super lame jokes...

A student was attending a chemistry class. The teacher said, "The formula for water is H2O and its very vital that you remember this because its coming out for your test tomorrow."
And true enough, the question came out on the test. So the not so smart but very literal student wrote his answer as, 'The formula for water is HIJKLMNO (H to O)

A pregnant woman met with an accident and falls into deep coma. Six months later, she awakes to find that she is no longer pregnant. Frantically, she asked the doctor about her baby. The doctor replies, "Ma'am, you had twins! A boy and a girl. The babies are fine, your brother came in and named them.
The woman thinks to herself, "Oh no, not my brother. He's not a very smart person". Expecting the worst, she asked the doctor, "What's the girl's name?" The doctor replied, "Denise". The mother is impressed that her dimwitted brother managed to come up with such a fine name, so she asked the doctor about the boy's name. The doctor said, "His name is DeNephew."

A man wanted to take her girlfriend out for a date. So he arrived at her house and waited for her as she got ready to meet him. When she came out of her room, she had a huge red lipstick mark on her forehead. The man was greatly disturbed by this and asked her,"Where did you learn to make up like this?" The woman replied,"But yesterday you told me to make up my mind??!!"

A boy was in Sunday school and the teacher was teaching him how to pray. She said, "You must always begin the morning with prayer and your prayer can be as simple as Good Morning Lord".
The next week the teacher asked him,"Did you pray this morning?" The boy promptly replied,"Of course I did. When my mum woke me up, I immediately shouted,"Good Lord, its morning!"

Well I guess thats all. Maybe some photos will make this post less wordy.
I'll show you the lame stuff I've done this whole holiday so far.






What'd I tell ya? I'm a real lowlife here. The only reason why I'm in love with this game is because it offers total freedom in the gameplay, unlike other games where you have to follow a specific way of doing things. And there are so many hidden things in this game which I've yet to find out about. So I guess I'm stuck with this game and my Fifa 08 until the newest version of GTA comes out.
So I guess that's it.
Will be posting more lame jokes in time to come.
Look out for that!
And also cant wait for the weekends where I can get to see the Region 3/4 friends!
Woohoo!

Weekends!

Ok so the holidays have been pretty boring so far, tuition, sleep, eat, tuition....
Relatives came down from Malaysia on saturday morning at 2am...
Stayed till Sunday afternoon.
Grandpa is not doing so well, has a tumour in his face.
Grandma is also suffering from body aches.
My youngest cousin, Joel Phua was hogging the TV the whole weekend, watching nothing but playhouse disney, why the heck do I even have that channel man...
Friday night, no net group, went to play basketball with church youths,
but only managed to play for like less than 5mins.
At least I got my butt off the chair in front of the laptop and went out for some fresh air,
That was all I needed,
Other than that, have really been rotting at home....
even reduced to playing GunBound with James cos he was bored also.
Was supposed to go watch the movie 'Death Race' with friends but most of them weren't free.
So just slacked and slacked.
I have to kick this slacking habit,
maybe I should go for a run, or exercise a bit,
the basketball was probably one of the most strenous exercise I had the past few weeks,
I'm not kidding.
Anyone interested in playing sports with me just call, I'll be glad to join you, depending on the venue as well...
Well, thats all, most of my friends have school tmr, I have tuition....
Boredom!!!

Nothing much...

Just wanna apologize to a few people on this post,
I just feel that I've let down a lot of people last week and this week,
First up, I apologize to Haziqah and Aiman for leaving so early after the ubin trip, was really feeling tired.
Next, I apologize to Jonger for arranging to meet at 11am at Peirce Secondary but ended up 2 hours late.
Sorry to Valerie for arriving late for net and not having time to practice for worship.
Sorry to Sheryl and Jessica for coming late for discipling on saturday.
And sorry to mum for being so forgetful...
Hope everyone forgives me.

And just thought about this song when I was reflecting on saturday's edge service lesson. About anger, how its like fire and it will continue to grow if you fuel it, etc...
This song is called Everything Burns by Anastacia featuring Ben Moody, the ex-guitarist of Evanescence.




Lyrics :
She sits in her corner
Singing herself to sleep
Wrapped in all of the promises
That no one seems to keep
She no longer cries to herself
No tears left to wash away
Just diaries of empty pages
Feelings gone astray
But she will sing

Chorus:

'Til everything burns
While everyone screams
Burning their lies
Burning my dreams
All of this faith
And all of this pain
Burning all down
Cause my anger reigns
Everything burns

Ohh

Walking through life unnoticed
Knowing that no one cares
To consumed in their masquerade
No one sees her there
And still she sings

Chorus:

'Til everything burns
While everyone screams
Burning their lies
Burning my dreams
All of this faith
And all of this pain
I'll burn it all down
As my anger reigns

'Til everything burns
Everything burns
(Everything burns)
Everything burns
Watching it all fade away
(All fade away)
Everyone screams
Everyone screams
(Watching it all fade away)
Oooh, oh
(While everyone screams)
Burning down lies
Burning my dreams
(All of this faith)
And all of this pain
I'll burn it all down
As my anger reigns
'Til everything burns
(Everything burns)
Watching it all fade away
(Oooh, ooh)
(Everything burns)
Watching it all fade away