Moody....

Posted the last post at 3.10am.
Set my MSN status to (Sleeping).
But stayed up till 6am...
Just pondering about where I went wrong in life.
The constant screw ups, my friends, bad experiences.
And realised why my parents don't trust me.
It was a revelation that hit me right there.
The vicious cycle.
Due to my lack of performance, they limit my freedom, due to my lack of freedom, I do worse and worse in school.
Its the attitude, I guess.
Had only 3 hours of sleep last night.
Now having no mood to study what-so-ever.
+ parents want me to skip evening service to study.
When I have no mood at all to study.
I'm just blankly staring into the CARC notes.
Trying to absorb but nothing goes in.
At least I managed to have a chat with my net leader last night.
Finally somebody who bothers to hear me out in my time of need.
Thank you so much.
What I need now is lots of encouragement to even continue on with life.
Cos it seems so pointless.
We're all working our way towards a happy life before we meet death.
But I hope that my attitude can change, and hope that I'll start to see things with a new perspective.
I'm hoping for the best.
Sorry for all the wordy and EMO posts this past year.
My vision has just been really cloudy and I'm currently emotionally unstable.
Confusion just hitting me from everywhere.
Attacks from the enemy just keep coming and coming.
I need emotional healing.
Give me time, and I'll give back the Arthur everybody once knew.