5 years too late

Ok, I've been thinking alot lately, and usually I think about the mistakes I've made in my life so far.
I know, this kind of thing is what old people do when they're bored.
But I got too much time on the bus rides home, so I just tend to think.
And one case came to my mind which convicted me a lot.
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(This space is reserved for a certain someone to see) :
We used to be friends, a long long time ago, back when I was still wearing shorts to school.
We sat together, we talked, we laughed, and we were good friends.
We bullied each other, did lame stuff and joked together.
The only thing was that you're a girl and I'm a guy.
I said some hurtful things in the heat of the moments, and you backed away.
And slowly, this friendship started to fade.
Gradually, we became strangers, not even a 'hi' or 'bye' whenever our paths crossed.
We became mere acquaintances who couldn't talk on level terms.
You're the smart one & I'm less intellectual.
You're the beautiful one but I'm the ugly one.
I soon felt that I didn't deserve to be your friend, and gave up trying.
This ruined relationship caused me to have made an subconscious vow, to never hurt a girl's feelings ever again.
And because of this scar, I find it hard to be friendly to other girls.
You were the one who I felt the most comfortable with.
What would you say if I told you that I once liked you, a lot.
How would you react?
I told myself and others that I would never like someone like you.
I lied.
And all that was on my mind then was you.
But soon you met other guys, better looking and smarter guys.
I wasn't jealous, I was just unworthy.
And now, the only thing I wanna say is,

I'm sorry

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Very few people might know who I'm talking about.
Our clique, back then.
If any case any readers knows who I'm talking about, please don't reveal it.
Although I only believe just 2 persons excluding myself would know.
I just hope that she is able to read this somehow.

I did say that I liked you,
but now someone else has my heart.
Someone who doesn't even know she's met me.
Its painful.
I'm afraid that I might end up in another failed relationship.
That's why I dare not try.
One day, we'll see what unfolds.
One day...