Today,

All these people are a part of my life.
And today, all were seen in one location, at one event.
Hotdog holocaust.
Where Felix, JJ and Aiman were forced to chow down loads of hotdogs while me and Nicholas watched.
Where the message entitled, "Don't hold back" captivated me alot.
Many salvations were seen today.
I'm happy for them.
Hope they're gonna be consolidated and discipled well.
Hope they grow into the people that God has planned for them to be.
I know a seed has planted, and I know it will grow.
The results might not be immediate, but I'll be constantly watering this seed with prayers and blessings.

Today, old wounds opened.
Today I wondered how my friends would see me jumping and praising God.
Today, I decided to praise and worship God with all of my might, as always, even in the presence of my friends.
Today, I've decided to take a stand, and not hold back anymore.
Today, I prayed hard that people would come into the saving knowledge of God.
Today, I just felt disappointed, that things didn't turn out the way I hoped for.

Take me past the outer courts,
into the holy place,
past the brazen alter,
Lord I want to see Your face.
Take me by the crowds of people,
and the priests who sing your praise
I hunger and thirst for your righteousness
but it's only found in one place.

Take me into the holy of holies,
take me in by the blood of the lamb.
Take me into the holy of holies,
take the coal,
cleanse my lips,
here I am.

Anxiety

Hope all turns out fine.
Hope I don't explode and go into a frenzy.
Hope that the war ends by tomorrow.

I see many people have caught up,
I'm not feeling comfortable with this at all.
Not one bit.
I shall take you off my mind, for now.
If I can survive doing so.
I don't want to let these feelings take over me.

An event not to be missed! =D

Hotdog Holocaust is coming up this saturday, and I've got my team of 5 to participate!
Come down and support us, its gonna be at yishun at 3pm! Call me or message me at 98325863 if you're interested for more details!
Did I mention that newcomers will stand a chance to take part in a lucky draw?
And that for every 10 visitor supports we'll be able to sabotage a opponent team with a 'special' ingredient? (Nikki watch out)
So what are you waiting for?
Come down and have an incredible time at the Fusion Youth Hub!
Its gonna be awesome!
Cya there!

Best drink on earth.

Crap sessions rock.
Wii sessions rock.
Group study sessions rock.
Jamming rocks.
Badminton and bball sessions with 3/4 youth rock.
Caregroup sessions rock.
Net group sessions rock.
Edge rocks.

Okay, so how's it been lately?
Its been better, but it can be better.
Been going to Andes' house like, everyday since Monday.
I've seen James everyday this month.
Really good friendship bonding thing going on here.
Exams are coming up.
Only 3 papers.
And I discovered something really cool!
I can use Microsoft Visio to do the networking diagrams.
Super nice.
Thanks for all the help Andes.
Caregroup yesterday night was awesome.
Hilarious suan-ing session, good time of worship, I hope, cos I was only informed at 7.10pm.
On the day itself.
I've been put in charge of the 3/4 youth Facebook group, but was rather tired to do it, so Johnathon ended up helping me to set up the page.
Sunday at evening, was feeling kinda moody, partially due to the fact that I just woke up, and the ushers closed the last 3 rows for God knows what.
Hate having to move to the front when I'm already so late.
Ended up sitting with region 7/8, wasn't that bad, at least I could focus on the message better.
Pam Seaward is the awesomest preacher for evening service.
Her message was just so captivating.
I was expecting some boring teacher-like preacher cos of the way she looked, but no, it was really MUCH better than I expected.
If they have the podcast for that I'm so gonna download it.
Hmm, waking up for school is becoming a chore nowadays.
Been having power naps in school and on the buses on the way home.
Still no good.
I wish I can have my saturday mornings back.
So I can finally catch a good night's rest and sleep.
Oh well, so much for poly life being less stressful than JC.
The load of bullshit they gave us to encourage us to enroll to poly.
I only enrolled to poly so that I can wear any clothes to school, keep any hairstyle, and no Chinese!
Okay, I'm off to read my book, and drink my MineShine Milk Tea!

HOTDOG HOLOCAUST! =D

Alrite peeps!
Hotdog holocaust is coming up!
30th May! Form a team of 5 and sign up by this saturday!
Grand prize is $300!
What are you waiting for?!
Call or message me at 98325863 if you're interested!
Seeya there!
=D

Net rallyyyyy!

Cool stuff happened today, esp net rally! Woohoo
Games were good, WORSHIP WAS GOOD (haha), and the sharing was super good.
Well we did an activity, where everyone was supposed to stick a piece of paper on your back, and everyone is supposed to go around and write something good about each other on the paper.
I'll write mine here, cos I wanna know who wrote what, although some are quite obvious.
So own up people!

1. Arthur! Don't be so emo! God loves you! Haha =)
Keep up the guitar skills! -Evie
2. Stop staying emo! hahaha. Anyway, you're a good fren! =D God Bless!
3. Great guitar player ex ldr =D
4. Ha smile more laaa!! Awesome guitar player yo (:
5. Jeremy was here! You are a guitar pro
6. Rock on best guitarist
7. Cheerful (:
8. Awesome Net Leader! :D
9. Thx for teaching me! (=
10. You're guitar pro! Keep up the good work!!
11. Music pro

Haha so once again, thanks for all the encouragement, I've been slowly getting back on my own two feet, thanks to all the good words said by everyone, and I didn't know my guitar skills are that pro.
I'm not that pro la, David 10x more pro.
And yeah, due to popular demand, I'll stop being emo.
Amazed, eh?
Well, we'll see hahaha.

Somehow, I can't help but feel an anxiety take over me.
The feeling is so strong, that something really bad is about to happen.

Its time

Time for me to take a stand.
Time for traditions to change.
Time to rise up and make that change.
I promise myself that I'm not going to conform to the 'like father like son' bullshit.
Being like my dad is a curse, or a poison.
Everyone around you is just gonna hate you, and you'd be too stupid or preoccupied with your own life to even notice.
Why can't my parents see that I don't take the direct approach?
Why can't they see the indirectness in my 'messages'?
Every time I disobey them, don't they even stop to think why?
Are they just so consumed in their pride to think that its not their fault, and its all mine?
Why do you think I hate them?
Its because they don't trust me at all.
No matter how hard I've tried, it has never worked.
When I scored well for exams, its the same feeling as failing.
I've never felt real love in this 'home'.
That's why I prefer to be out of the house.
So I don't have to endure all this shit.
And this witch living in my house, namely, my grandmother, she never fails to step in at the wrong times.
The movies always get it wrong.
Usually its the grandparents who are the cool ones protecting the kids from the parents.
But looky here, they're all in cahoots!
And they're all against me.
Sometimes I feel that I shouldn't have been born.
Its like my parents are always disappointed in me.
Its because they always look at what they want out of me.
But never stop to think if I'm actually capable of it.
All they do is demand demand demand.
And when I don't meet expectations, I get shot down.
Time and again.
I just learnt to live with it.
I know I'll NEVER be able to meet with their expectations.
And I don't intend to, because what they want out of me is not what I want.
I want to be free.
I don't wanna be kept in this prison anymore.
Someone, help me.
Unlock these gates that hold me back from reaching my full potential.
I feel like I'm suffocating.

Mixed feelings

Feels like my life is in a storm of Tornados.

Shit happens

Why does shit always happen to me, all I ever wanted was a life free from control, where I can do whatever I want, whenever I want to. I want to be given freedom as a legal citizen of Singapore, when i turn 18. Parents say they don't give me a curfew, but they always call by 9.30pm when I'm not home, and ask me to come home, isn't that a curfew all the same?
I thank God for last night when my handphone couldn't detect any signal the entire night, so I didn't have to go through the nagging that I hate so much.
Even tonight, I wanted to meet up with the other SengKang nets, but no, my parents didn't allow it.
Reason? I've been out the whole day already.
I mean like, its my life, I know what I can handle and what I can't handle.
My energy level is determined by how much fun I'm having.
I hate being told that I'm not cut out for something when in actual fact I am cut out for it.
My dad, being Mr-Know-It-All, thinks I'm still a kid, and he probably thinks he's still living in Malaysia.
There's no trust between my parents and I, there never has been, probably never will.
Why do I dress like this, why do I fail my studies? Why do I badmouth them? Why am I rude to them?
Its all in the hope that they give up on me and just leave me alone.
I'm feeling super pissed now.
Mum just gave me a 'lecture' about the fact that I can speak so nicely to my friends but can't talk nicely to her.
But isn't it the same with her?
She always nags and yells at me, but with her friends, she's totally opposite.
Isn't that hypocrisy?
I can't wait for them to leave on Sunday, really it stinks to have to see their faces and listen to their voices everyday.
Thats the main reason why I want to study overseas next time.
So I don't have to see them.
I think I've said enough already, any more and it'll all be just vulgarity after vulgarity.
Trust me, this isn't who I am normally, but the people who 'gave me life' is starting to kill me, slowly, and they'd better realise it before its too late.

Cutes and cuddlies make me smile =)

Thank God for cute and cuddly animals.
I've been feeling rather down these past few days.
Yesterday's audition didn't go too well,
Mood was spoilt at dinner time by my dad.
Today, was just feeling kinda down,
although it got better after morning service.
But this photo and another photo made me melt in joy,
to see animals really enjoying a carefree life.
I want a puppy, a kitten, a hamster and a bunny!

Surviving

Okay, so 2nd week of school is over, with Friday being a holiday and all, its been a good week, very entertaining.
Monday and tuesday were the worse days, but it just got better and better after that.
Wednesday was spent with Ivan, James, Lavette and Joyna at tampines mall, poor James had to come all the way down to Tampines from Singapore Poly to meet us, cos Lavette, Ivan and I study in Tamp and Joyna lives in Pasir Ris, so we just hung out, had dinner, did homework, blablaa and cabbed home.
Cab fare was $21.30.
Awesome
Thursday, school was normal, went home to sleep after school, woke up and went to play bball with 3/4 youth! Was awesome as I really got to sweat it out, like finally, as if I'm not sweating enough sitting at my computer, but I finally got to exercise, like seriously.
Yesterday was good! Tennis training from 8-9am, shortly after which mum fetched Sheryl and I to Anchorvale CC to play captain's ball with 3/4 youth!
After that had lunch at mac, went home to shower, got my wii stuff and guitar and went to Lavette's house.
Taught Gabriel Ho and James some guitar there. (They are superb-ly fast learners, enthusiastic and never say die attitude) They're the kind of student's I'd be willing to teach for free!
Anyway, I'm auditioning for edge band today!
Really stressed out about it!
Pray for me pray for me!!!!

These few days, I can't help but think.
Been trying but failing to find.
The basketball and captains ball sessions.
Made me so psyched up and crazy.
Distracted me from you.
But every night, as I sit here,
All I think about is you.